By Dave Bushy, PCC
In any type of journey, one first needs to know where they are before they can create a course to where they want to go. It’s a fundamental tenet of navigation.
If an airliner just takes off, for instance, without the navigation system being initialized to the starting point, then a course line cannot be plotted and a route cannot be displayed for the pilot.
The same holds true for any personal developmental journey.
As we coach our clients, initially we can experience the client’s strong desire to move towards a different way of being or acting as a leader. The client engages us with a desire to change and we begin by patiently asking and listening about what that might look like for them. In the confidential coaching relationship, the client may disclose things like the fact that they may not be pleased with how they work with others, the type of “presence” they project, or even the way in which they delegate – and very often the most common one – time management.
They then often say, “I need to change!”
They see a destination and want to get there. And that’s where the lens of navigation and first “knowing where you are” comes to bear. As coaches, we seek to discover, again by our one main tool – inquiry – where it is that the client is starting. By bringing the client back to what is – and is not – working for them and what they routinely use as skills and capabilities, we help them gain an appreciation of their own well-developed ways of being.
“I want to change the way I interact with my boss,” a client may say, with an implicit aim of leaving one way of being behind and moving towards another.
When an individual seeks this, they can never be sure of where they are in the now– the reality they are currently living.
That’s why, we as coaches, stay with the present and ask, “Tell me what currently happens when you interact with the boss.”
From there many avenues can be explored. The setting, the tone, the nuances of communication and the details of the personal and task-related relationship with the boss can emerge. Remaining curious and staying with the client is one of the joys of coaching and allowing the client to fully open up about their skills.
It’s sometimes surprising to a client when we repeat back what they have said about a subject. And it is often refreshing to them to know that they do indeed possess strong capabilities and ways of working with others. Helping the client understand where they are currently well-developed and that sometimes those skills are useful and sometimes they come at a cost can help. From that starting point, a client can begin to understand when to effectively use what comes more naturally and when they may need to employ other new skills and capabilities. Exploring areas that we call “less developed” can help add critical tools in the toolbox to deploy when, by choice and intention, they understand that only one way of approaching a situation can work – but not always.
A stark example is the client who may be very detailed with verbal explanations yet experienced as overly-directive in their approach to others. Appreciating the times when detailed directives might work for them and understanding when they might not is the key. And practicing new ways of being and then reflecting how those are working is a useful part of coaching.
Individuals are fully capable of change – just as they are of flying huge distances in airliners. They just need to know where they are starting and then they can chart a course called the future.
Dave Bushy of Boston Executive Coaches – bostonexecutivecoaches.com – is a an ICF-certified coach who was trained at the Gestalt International Study Center (GISC). Dave is a former U.S. Army officer and senior airline executive who works with leaders throughout the world.