By Dave Bushy, PCC
“I can’t do it all.”
Have you ever felt this way as a leader? I know I have. And I often deluded myself that, indeed, I could do it all.
I meet with clients who are pulled in what seem to be endless directions. They struggle to keep up with a world that sometimes appears to replicate the movie “Everything Everywhere All at Once.”* (I’ll call it EEAO)
I have come to believe that this feeling is a natural byproduct of a connected world with unceasing communication channels and expectations of instantaneous responses and results. Corporations no longer appear to have the natural rhythms that allowed time for individuals to regroup and collect their thoughts to best determine the issues that are important to be addressed and the challenges best put aside.
And the concept of change is continually bandied about by the private and public sector. Change, in some respects, has replaced vision and the idea of setting goals and outcomes.
Instead, change has become both the vehicle and the outcome, with uncertainty the inevitable result.
A little more than three decades ago, email was still in its infancy and “in” boxes were wooden bins on the edge of a desk. “Assistants” were real people and “presentations” were not electronic – they were words spoken to other people, sharing ideas and proposing solutions together. The volume of material was definitely less and the resultant ability to focus easier and, I believe, more effective.
But that was yesterday and this is today. Lamenting what “was” can be even less useful than hoping for what “can be.”
How do we cope with this phenomenon of EEAO when we experience the feeling of trying to “do it all?” In working with clients as a coach for more than a decade, I believe there is a useful first step before embarking on paths that lead in seemingly endless directions.
It’s called awareness. Awareness of the present and mindful awareness of what you seek to accomplish – and the limits you deal with, so that you can then determine what choices you can make going forward.
“Now is all we’ve got,” I sometimes say to clients. In doing so, I invite them to consider what keeps them busy every day, to name the issues that wake up them up at night and to identify the fires that so often need to be extinguished. Most of all, I invite them to notice what they experience as they face their challenges.
“What is,” becomes their starting point.
“Tell me about your day today,” I might begin.
It is not uncommon that the response is a bit like a firehose. Ideas, challenges, people, emotions, commitments met and those forgotten, deadlines, timelines, feelings of inadequacy, anger – all can come spilling out. And more – much more – almost inevitably revolving around EEAO. It can take a while for it all to be named.
I listen intently and when a pause occurs, I let a bit of time go by and then say:
“Tell me about why you you’re in the role your in. “
“What exactly is your mission?” I might ask
As he or she begins to think about their role in the company and why they do their job, they might start to gain some much needed clarity.
“So, what is your priority?” I might use as a follow up, being intentional to use the singular, rather than the more common “priorities” in order to get the client to focus on just one thing.
This can help the client further identify their raison d’etre.
As a former airline operations executive, my answer would have been:
“Well, my job is to make sure that the airline runs safely and efficiently.”
Obviously, every leader, company or organization might have a different answer. But knowing what you are there to accomplish can help separate the signal from the noise that we are all experiencing today.
The simple (but not simplistic) answer to EEAO is that you can’t do it all. You simply can’t. You can only do what you were meant to do and then do your best to manage the noise around you.
And don’t ever forget why you are there.
Dave Bushy of Boston Executive Coaches – bostonexecutivecoaches.com – is a an ICF-certified coach who was trained at the Gestalt International Study Center (GISC). Dave is a former U.S. Army officer and senior airline executive who works with leaders throughout the world.
*Released in 2022 – Written and directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert
Image by Brian Merrill from Pixabay