By Dave Bushy, PCC
If you’ve ever worked in corporate life or any organization, you have, no doubt, experienced a range of leaders. I know I have.
Each leader is a unique learning opportunity for us. We can pick up on their best practices and seek to emulate their unique skills and attributes. And we also come to understand that we cannot change people – we can only seek to understand them and then make choices in how to adapt to them with our words and our actions.
And as difficult as it sounds, we can even learn from those leaders who we might define as challenging, challenged or, to be frank, extraordinarily difficult. It’s a bit harder, but, as I remind clients, life is about learning and not all learning is pain free.
I know that it wasn’t without pain for me.
I recall when a new executive leader was named at a company where I was a senior vice president. We were informed via email that all senior vice presidents would report directly to him and told to head to a conference room. Our initial meeting with him was a bit of an eye opener. While our previous boss had been collaborative and open to input, this one spent about twenty minutes laying out his vision and directing us on what he saw as our duties. He was, to say the least, negative about our collective performance and basically told us that we should change our ways and deliver more and better results. When we questioned him on details, he became angry. And when pressed even more for understanding, he berated those who challenged him.
The next morning our administrative assistants were all told to report to his executive assistant. Mine came back a few hours later with a sigh and gave me a rundown. A few items on a voluminous list: all documents submitted to the executive needed to be printed in color, and they could not be stapled on the top left corner – only clipped with a one-inch bulldog clip at the top right. Any PowerPoints submitted to him needed to arrive in hard copy two business days before presenting, regardless whether it necessitated staff working all night or through a weekend. He had also decided to hire another admin – so there was one for scheduling meetings and the other for all written and email materials. Detailed protocols were required in dealing with each admin. The list went on and on from there.
And then all the senior vice presidents were invited by an outside consulting company to an all-day meeting entitled “Communicating with (his name) – How He Works.” We were somewhat heartened by this and looked forward to getting to know the executive’s style.
When we all arrived the next morning, we drank coffee and searched for the new executive. When he did not arrive, the two facilitators convened the meeting. My first question was “Where is he?” The answer: “He’s briefed us on his communication style and we’re here to tell you what it is.” I couldn’t help but to ask, “Wouldn’t it be better to hear it from him?” The answer: “No, he prefers us to do it.”
Things went from bad to worse and we spent eight hours navigating a sort of Tower of Babel, translated by a high-priced consultant. Suffice to say no one learned how to effectively communicate with the new leader and, from all appearances in the following months he didn’t seem to mind. We learned from experience that his was a dictatorial and even imperious style. We were expected to listen to his directives and to act – questioning was not allowed.
I did not have the benefit of coaching at that time and I wish I had. However, I continued to try to build awareness at assessing my options and how I could choose to modify my style in a way that might meet his unique personality.
I met limited success and then my own leadership style and integrity was put to the test.
Our company, which had always done well, ran into a period of financial uncertainty. Our new boss and other senior leaders decided that layoffs, pay freezes and other austerity measures were required. I had what my boss considered the ultimate in audacity to recommend that all of us – our boss included – show servant leadership by volunteering to take a ten per cent pay cut. I remember him sarcastically and vehemently spitting out: “You might be able to afford it, but I can’t and I won’t.”
Not surprisingly, my decision to speak up went over poorly and it wasn’t but a few weeks before I was informed that I would no longer be in my position. It was brutal and jarring for me and most of all a learning experience that sometimes you can’t always adapt to someone’s style. Had I not been removed, I suspect I would have resigned.
Mine was an extreme example of a difficult leader. As I speak with clients I see as my goal to help them fully understand different styles, different approaches and to consider their options and choices they can make when dealing with their bosses. Seldom do individuals have to deal with someone like I did, but if they do, they need to have first explored all avenues.
Interestingly enough, a few months after I was removed, my difficult boss and the other senior leaders awarded themselves a large bonus. It was their collective decision and they quickly paid for choosing a path that is the antithesis of servant leadership – none of them remained in their positions for long.
They made choices too. I hope they learned from them.
Dave Bushy of Boston Executive Coaches – bostonexecutivecoaches.com – is a an ICF-certified coach who was trained at the Gestalt International Study Center (GISC). Dave is a former U.S. Army officer and senior airline executive who works with leaders throughout the world.
Image by Tung Lam from Pixabay