By Dave Bushy, PCC
In coaching, we spend considerable time identifying the well-developed aspect of someone’s expertise, leadership skills and, especially, their communication style.
We also intentionally avoid calling out what some would characterize as weaknesses because we feel that human beings are doing what they can with what they’ve got, especially in terms of capabilities and attributes. As coaches, we believe our clients rely on their well-developed “strengths” to navigate their world and achieve what they can. The key for our clients then, is to get interested in how these areas of ease serve their navigation, and to also recognize when they don’t serve or might even cost something in clarity or behavior.
From that platform of the knowledge of well-developed attributes – their benefit and their cost – a person can make choices about when to use them and when to add other capabilities. Even areas that are less-developed or not even initially identified as a potential attribute.
In other words, as coaches we work, through curiosity and inquiry, to help a person or team with whom we are working to notice and appreciate their inherent capabilities. Once recognized, we help that person or team to become curious about what they might add to how they work in the world. Adding in this way, or even bringing forth what is less developed augments a person’s range giving them more capacity and capability. It isn’t about losing “well developed strengths” as much as it is about not overusing them.
It’s about helping our clients recognize what they naturally rely on so they can make thoughtful choices.
This is perhaps the most significant focus of a Gestalt-based coaching methodology: that we invite clients to identify what they are doing and how they are doing it “with what they’ve got.” And when clients say things like “I know I need to change,” or “I should do better,” that’s when a coach can invite them to stay in awareness-building. We ask what they are doing with the skills and attributes they possess, and then we ask, “What choices do you feel you could make about those capabilities?” and then, “What would be helpful to add to what you do to help you expand your range?”
Because life is first understanding how we exist, survive and even thrive in the world, as people and professionals, rather than embarking on some sort of self-imposed change that might try to move us away from our own well-developed strengths.
So, the next time you look in the mirror – frame your perspective away from judgement, outcomes, and even undefined change. Instead, move more towards what you are doing with “what you’ve got.” Sit in that awareness and reflection. And then you can ask, “what else could I add that would be useful?”
And be prepared to unleash perspective that leads to growth.
Dave Bushy of Boston Executive Coaches – bostonexecutivecoaches.com – is a an ICF-certified coach who was trained at the Gestalt International Study Center (GISC). Dave is a former U.S. Army officer and senior airline executive who works with leaders throughout the world.
Image by Andrew Leinster from Pixabay