Image by littlerocket from Pixabay
By Dave Bushy, PCC
As I work with executive clients, it is not uncommon for them to want to explore what might come next in their careers.
And, most importantly, in their lives.
I learned a long time ago, as much as we try to separate our existence into “personal” and “professional,” it is still only one life that we are given, with all of its joys, challenges and opportunities. It took me a while to realize this and it continues to be a useful lesson as I help clients on their journeys.
When a client tells me he or she is contemplating a transition of any sort, I get very curious and redouble my efforts at listening, empathy and curiosity. And I remind myself that my job is to coach, not recommend or steer anyone’s decisions. It is their life and I feel honored in learning why they are considering a move. I often begin by asking questions they may not have considered. The essence of any coaching is exploration and allowing someone to verbalize their ideas and feelings about them. It is fascinating to see what emerges from such inquiry.
One day I was speaking with a client who said they were considering a significant move in their career path. I asked for details and the client said,
“I haven’t explored all of me yet.”
“Please tell me what “all of me” means to you,” I asked.
“Well, I’m capable in what I do as an executive. You might say that I’ve achieved a level of mastery. I’ve had professional and financial success and feel as if I’ve accomplished something. Yet, I intuitively know I have more to do and to be – I’m a whole person with all sorts of other capabilities and desires. I’m not sure how else to describe it.”
I paused for a minute and looked into the distance and then asked, “Can you think of a metaphor that describes how you feel?”
A smile emerged and a slight laugh, “Don’t laugh when I say this, but I see myself as a pie and I’ve only had the opportunity to take one slice out of it! It seem to me that I might be denying myself in not taking another slice, or even multiple slices, in the years ahead.”
I smiled as the metaphor landed for both of us at the same time.
My next question was, “What can you imagine being contained in another slice of pie.”
“I love writing and I’ve never been able to explore it before. I might have the great American novel inside of me, I’m not sure. But I won’t find out if I don’t try.”
“Tell me more.”
From there the client launched into what seemed to be a pent-up desire to tell me everything they had considered. A love of woodworking was another slice of pie for them, as well as a dream of foreign travel. Being involved with local charities – not as a leader, but as a worker-bee – brought another smile to my client’s lips. In a few minutes of almost joyous exploration, I lost count of the slices of pie that the client was just waiting to taste.
“That pie sounds delicious,” I remarked at one point. Then I said, “How does this make you feel ,verbalizing this and exploring your life ahead?”
No hesitation: “I want to try another slice of pie!”
I smiled, thinking of the many clients with whom I work who could benefit from taking the time to identify and taste the slices of “pie” that coincide with their capabilities and their desires for a life well lived. I thought to myself that we could all use this metaphor to help our journeys in life.
Dave Bushy of Boston Executive Coaches – bostonexecutivecoaches.com – is a an ICF-certified coach who was trained at the Gestalt International Study Center (GISC). Dave is a former U.S. Army officer and senior airline executive who works with leaders throughout the world.